Anger,
Aggression and Hostility
The
problem, for some people, is that anger becomes the default choice
among the emotional or rational options available, fulfilling
the old adage that to a man whose only tool is a hammer, every
problem looks like a nail.
Aggressiveness,
appropriately applied, may be still be of value in a competitive
environment, from combat to commerce, but it is subject to rules
and laws that limit its scope.
If
anger is an emotion and aggression is a response, hostility, perhaps
the most socially damaging of anger’s products, is a negative
way of looking at the world. The hostile person constantly sees
threats to his will and well being that either don’t exist at
all or are far less important than he assumes them to be. His
angry overreactions damage every aspect of his life, from work
to family and friends.
Hostility
is also frequently a cop-out. As one authority on the subject
has observed, justifying your anger at the world on grounds that
you have been dealt a bad hand in life, allows you to avoid responsibility
for making your life better.
What
is commonly referred to as “Anger Management” might better be
called “Anger Response Management,” since anger may flare
before we have time to engage the thinking part of our brains.
What is actually managed is perception, aggression and hostility.
Remember
our earlier example of the amygdala’s instantaneous response to
a potential threat. It throws your body into fight/flight mode
before you have a chance to assess the threat—just in case the
threat is real.
That’s
where the perception aspect of anger management comes in. A habitually
angry, hostile person perceives threats and frustrations where
none exist, or where the level of challenge is too low to justify
anger. By correctly perceiving the nature of the challenge, the
threat response is turned off, as it was in our example when the
person who suddenly stepped from the doorway proved harmless.
But
the cooling-down process takes a few moments, leading to Thomas
Jefferson’s familiar advice: “When angry, count ten before you speak; if very
angry, a hundred."
Jefferson’s formula for controlling anger may have been more on
target than he realized: the act of counting actively engages
the cerebral cortex—where logic and problem solving are centered.
If
you were an automobile, anger would be equivalent to flooring
your accelerator. You generate maximum response, but you put a
lot of stress on the machinery. Lead-footed driving will eventually
cause serious damage.
The
same applies to anger. The stress it generates causes long-term
harm to your body:
- High
blood pressure
- Increased
cholesterol levels
- Heart
damage or blocked arteries
- Aggravated
heart problems
- A
depressed immune system
- Longer
recovery times from injury
And
that’s on top of the damage your perpetual ill humor and outbursts
will already have caused to your career and home life.
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